Today, I accompanied Phoenix to the classroom and she was taken by her other teacher. She cried, but as per the school staff info and picture, she wasn't crying for too long and no more hiccup. 

She was busy today.
I was busy with my book.

Good girl!!

Today on the way to the school, I kept talking about leaving her at the school so she needs to work and play with friends in the classroom. As result, Phoenix asked me to accompany her during the outside play and while making a line before going to the classroom.

I accompanied her up until the classroom but when we just arrived at the second floor, she asked to poop. Then we went to the toilet and she really poop. I'm glad that I didn't ignore her as she didn't make a reason although after poop, she tried to prolong it which I think that this is her strategy.


Then we went to the classroom but in front of the classroom, she asked me to accompany her. I refused. I asked her to join the circle time by herself. She refused. Then we were talking and negotiating in front of the door until her lead teacher took her from me, held her and brought her to the classroom while I ran downstairs. I'm glad that I happened to kiss her before I ran.


Then I was waiting downstairs for a while. Ten minutes after that, I went to SD Negeri nearby just to ensure that I'm not there both physically and mentally. Based on so many articles that I read, I conclude that this is important as Phoenix and I have a very strong bonding so if I'm feeling sad, Phoenix can feel it too. So I moved as far as I can. I brought a book and tab and tried to be busy with it.

While waiting, the school staff sent me Phoenix's picture thru BBM and said that Phoenix was no longer crying although she still hiccups because she was cried quite long. But at the time she took the picture, Phoenix was busy doing her works.

At 11.30, I went back to the school and waited until she got downstairs. This is also important as literature said that parents need to be consistent to what they say. So I need to ensure that I shouldn't be late. At 12.10 she got downstairs and smile at me at the last step of stairs.

I'm so glad that today has passed and hope that tomorrow will be better.

These two days, Phoenix was absent from school. She got a very bad cough so I decided to wait until the cough frequency is rare. This actually made me nervous as today, it should be the first day for me to leave Phoenix in the classroom. I have shared this plan to Phoenix since Saturday and reiterated over and over. Every time I tell her the plan, she is sad and cries 'don't leave me at the classroom'. I know that she actually understands the situation that no one in the classroom could be accompanied by the parent or nanny. She's just nervous as we haven't tried to separate, as this is her first experience. But I know that she is ready to try.

So that's why, when we need to postpone the implementation, then I get nervous as this is not consistent to what I said. Children loves consistency and will get confused to find unmatched realization. If this happens, then they will naturally choose the good one to be memorized. For instance, if I say that she cannot eat candy as this is not a healthy food but one day in someone's party I allow her to eat this, and she of course will like it for the sweet taste, then she will memorize that eating candy is fine. 

In this case, not to be left in the classroom is the better situation. As this does not happen on Monday, so it is inconsistent to what I say.

However, I'm trying to think positive that the delay will not ruin the plan. I share the plan again and again to maintain her adrenalin to face this. Hopefully, this works well.
  

Again, today was worst than yesterday. It's really like roller coaster, one day can be good the other day can be not good. She was again teary. I didn't expect this as she got enough sleep today and yesterday was so good.

She kept asking me to accompany inside. Since I refused, so most of the time she was together with me in front of the classroom.
At 10.30, I decided to accompany her in the classroom. So she started to pick her work and she did a lot of works. But I need to accompany up until lunch time.

This is quite annoying as I will leave her on Monday.

...It was the most beautiful day during our times at school. She was so cooperative, cheerful, friendly, and not teary. One of the important reasons is because she really got enough sleep. This is important to make the day successful although this is not the only reason. 

She was working on so many materials and together with friends. I saw only smile.. smile.. smile..

...Today I was talking with the Principal for almost 2 hrs. I remember that the children hasn't had their breakfast when I left Phoenix in the classroom, meaning that it was still before 9. We just finished talking few mins before 11. During these time, I heard Phoenix talked loud saying she wants to look for me and then cried. It was almost 2 hrs she did that.  Am pretty sure that she got tired crying and screaming.

The conclusion of the discussion was that we agreed to do a mild and moderate transition to Phoenix as I decided to leave her in the classroom starting next week. We both agreed that even now or later, Phoenix's response will be the same. So why don't we do it soon.

Below are our strategies:
1. Phoenix will not be enforced to be in the classroom. Therefore if she wants to go down and look for me, just let her go as Gayek will be waiting at the lobby.
2. She can bring her keropi.
3. Her food will be provided on the table in the classroom.
4. We will do the practical life work at home as hopefully it can be the bridge between home and school.
5. I will need to socialize this plan to Phoenix often so she can prepare herself too.

The main concern is how to make the transition as seamless as we can so it will not cause the traumatic event to her, be it in short term or long term.

We will start this soon and I realized that the first thing to be prepared is actually.... 
MY HEART.

...Today is much better as she got enough sleep last nite. She did a lot of montessori works and didn't ask me to accompany her in the classroom. So I was just sitting in front of the classroom and Phoenix was just back and forth to check me there.

Hopefully it gets better and better..