Hi.. I'm back... I've just been back from my tour, walking around on a real life, real world, real job... Unfortunately, it gets me busy..
What I remember from the last time I wrote here is that I was in a dream world. I considered as a dream world cause I was employeed in one institution, but I was jobless. A.k.a 'pengangguran terselubung'. Meaning I was doing nothing, all I do was only filing everything that had been on filed, reading project manual without knowing when to implement, and the most difficult job description was to fax several letter or invitation to others parties. I described it as the most difficult job desc is because the fax machine was a mess, sometimes it worked, sometime it didn't. If it happen, I should walk to the other building to fax that letter, something that I think should not be done by a university graduated.
I am not trying to say that it's a bad thing to be done, but what I really wanna say is that I think I have enough brain to do something that is bigger, to handle more responsibilty, to do something with my brain. I would be very happy to do fax thing, if I also produce any big idea in the paper that I faxed. So I missed the ‘thinking time’ so much, I thought my IQ had just been falling down so fast, I never use it, I never sharpened my mind. I was stressed. I had so many pimpled in my face.
But still, there always a positive thing. Since I was jobless, most of the time I came to the the office without any work to do, I had so much time to surf on the internet, I can build my blog, nice and trully me.
But that was all. However, being a jobless girl is not what I expect in life, I like to be smart and smarter, grow everyday, enlarge capacity, know something more than I do now. I just can find a way to get it by attending my position, I can join friends doing their job, but it wasn’t the way it is.
So, I move out and find another place to work. It’s a private company in property. Things were going to change very fast. It’s a real world, I wake up of my dream. I’m so busy, busy enough to go work on 7am and get back home on 7/8/9pm. On Saturday, I can be working, something that I never like. Sometimes I can spend through the night in office till the next morning, I realized that I still use the same outfit. I have limitted access to my blog, my email, but I did so much google to find so many materials of something I never thought that I will ever deal with the topic. Knowledge has been wider. I love it. But, I’m tired.
In my second year, I have another assignment that pushed me to handle inquiries anytime within 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, which means I should be ready anytime. By a very complicated reasons, again, I’m stressed. But now, it’s not only acnes on face, but I happen to get sick several times, most of them were attacking my stomach. Even doctors can never explain exactly what’s been going on with the belly. The first hit was the gastritic acut, but you know what, I never drink coffee, I used to have mineral water only, I can’t eat spicy food, I eat on schedule, etc etc etc. The last hit was the infection on bowels, I never have idea how I can get this, since at the time I still concern on my food – I just get another gastritic acut a week before – I ate ‘bubur’ instead of ‘nasi’, I ate quacker oat for breakfast, etc etc etc. Even I can’t walk when it hit me, I never had experience on this kind of stomachache. People surrounds me who knows much about how I live my life surprised when I get this unreasonable stomachache. I had been advised to see psychologist, ck ck ck..
But here I am now, taking a long leaves, dealing with my personal stuff, get out of working stuff –for a while-, trying to do anything that I can’t do before, repair many things in my blog –I surprised it’s messed up when I visit–, I’m not going anywhere, I read books. I just wanna do personal things myself.
Fingercross, when I get back to my real world, I still have time to do kinda personal things.
